there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
Randomize
