haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
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