Little spoons don't ask big questions
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
she told me i tasted like america
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
you told grandpa to call you daddy
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
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