I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
No subtext here. People are naked.
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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