K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
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