I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
Randomize
