Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Randomize
