the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
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