he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
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