well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
Randomize