I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
Randomize
