i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
Randomize
