Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Randomize
