im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
Randomize
