im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
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