thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
