She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
Randomize
