I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Randomize
