Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
Randomize
