8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
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