It's like a parade of train wrecks.
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
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