Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
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