i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
Randomize
