awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
Randomize
