matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
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