a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
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