I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
Randomize
