I'm so tired of dating women who lie about their age. You show up feeling like you need to follow them around with a dust pan and a broom.
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
Randomize
