i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Randomize
