the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
Randomize
