weddingsv make me drug and hornr
i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
I just woke up on an unfamiliar floor, my shoes are gone, my suits covered in red lipstick and chocolate, and Im wearing sunglasses that say "Maid of Honor".God damnit I love this country.
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
