NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
Randomize
