Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
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