I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
Randomize
