I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
The chlamydia really affected his face.
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
Randomize
