I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
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