Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
Randomize
