My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
Randomize
