Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
I'm really into asian looking animals
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
Randomize
