He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Randomize
