We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
Sex in the backyard? Check.
Randomize
