maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
Randomize
