worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
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