so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Randomize
