We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize
