Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
Randomize
