this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
Randomize
