At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
Randomize
