That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
