remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
Randomize